We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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