You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
