either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
