My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
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Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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