I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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