i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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