they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
bring money and cleavage
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
