Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
