Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
