you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
