In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
