He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
A+ Viking dick
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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