thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have so many feelings about this burrito
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
