Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
