Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
