i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
operation have a gay friend backfired
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
foreskin is a definite game changer
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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