I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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