My room smells like vodka and shame
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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