I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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