He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
