Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize