The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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