i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
