He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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