We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
