The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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