he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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