I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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