I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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