would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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