a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
