While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
