Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
