jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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