Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
