I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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