It's Friday. Sex?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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