You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize