I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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