you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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