You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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