I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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