She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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