What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
