listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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