My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
