Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize