a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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