You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize