that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
