Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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