NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
