how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
