Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
