Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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