I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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