I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
