Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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